|
|
Alice made a short calculation, and said, "Seven years and six months."
"Wrong!" Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly. "You never said a word like it!"
"I though you meant 'How old are you?'" Alice explained.
"If I'd meant that, I'd have said it," said Humpty Dumpty.
Alice didn't want to begin another argument, so she said nothing.
"Seven years and six months!" Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. "An uncomfortable sort of age. Now, if you'd asked my advice, I'd have said, 'Leave off at seven'; but it's too late now."
"I never ask advice about growing," Alice said indignantly.
"Too proud?" the other inquired.
Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion.
"I mean," she said, "that one can't help growing older."
"One can't perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty, "but two can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven."
"What a beautiful belt you've got on!" Alice suddenly remarked. (They had had quite enough of the subject of age, she thought; and if they really were to take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn now.) "At least, "she corrected herself on second thoughts, "a beautiful cravat, I should have said- no, a belt, I mean- I beg your pardon!" she added in dismay, for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly offended, and she began to wish she hadn't chosen that subject. "If only I knew," she thought to herself, "which was neck and which was waist!"
Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though he said nothing for a minute or two. When he did speak again, it was in a deep growl.
"It is a-most-provoking-thing," he said at last, "when a person doesn't know a cravat from a belt!"
"I know it's very ignorant of me," Alice said, in so humble a tone that Humpty Dumpty relented.
"It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It's a present from the White King and Queen. There now!"
"Is it really?" said Alice, quite pleased to find that she had chosen a good subject, after all.
"They gave it me," Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully, as he crossed one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, "they gave it me-for an unbirthday present."
"I beg you pardon?" Alice said with a puzzled air.
"I am not offended," said Humpty Dumpty.
"I mean, what is an unbirthday present?"
"A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course."